The Reason Kind People Are Cruel

I have three children, and in them I am trying to instill three qualities.

First and most importantly, I want them to be intelligent.

Second, I want them to be kind.

Third, I want them to work hard.

Hard work, in my experience, is the single most important factor to success that we can control.

(Privilege, or lack of it, is almost certainly more important—but we cannot control that).

Hard work keeps us going. In our early days when we are struggling, it keeps us going until we can one day be successful. It keeps us consistent (something I still struggle with). It puts us in front of people who can give us opportunities.

Hard work keeps us going even when we are already successful. It does not let us rest our our laurels. It pushes us to keep innovating, keep pushing the bounds of our success.

Nothing (we can control) leads to hard work more certainly than success—at least in every instance that I have seen.

But what good is success without kindness and intelligence?

Kindness takes many forms, but its greatest commonality is empathy.

We are all far, far too familiar with those who are successful but are not kind. They work hard and seem to possess intelligence, or at least a low cunning, but they only line their own pockets. They only lift up their children, which they view not as gifts to uplift the world, but the ultimate expressions of their own ego.

Kindness prompts us to distribute our hard work, spreading its influence to benefit as many as possible. It is the force behind humanitarianism and charity. Society is a group, and groups survive best when all members work to the benefit of all other members—something only possible through kindness.

But true kindness is not possible without intelligence.

I truly believe that the intelligent see kindness as the only viable option.

Because someone is clever at amassing success and wealth does not mean they are intelligent. It only means they have learned how to play a game—and even a chimpanzee can be taught to play chess. If that chimpanzee is also the white male son of a billionaire, it’s no wonder he can turn lots of money into even more money.

It requires intelligence to understand the world around us. Without that understanding, kindness is impossible.

Intelligence does not equate to fact memorization. Intelligence is the ability to reason and think and evaluate data. It is the ability to learn, most importantly.

Intelligence lets us pierce the veil of bias and lies. An intelligent person recognizes their own biases and works to remove the influence of those biases from their thinking.

As one example of this pertinent to current events: I understand the science behind climate change. Climate change deniers can’t convince me otherwise, because I know how science works. I was brought up with a good education that includes a grounding in chemistry. When someone talks about CO2 emissions, I know what the hell they’re talking about. This proofs me up against (mostly conservative) news outlets that try to spin lies about climate change because they know it ups their ratings.

Another example: intelligence gives me a greater understanding of racism in this country. I am not reliant on the media to tell me what to think about it. I can look at the Department of Justice annual reports going back years—information that is freely available to anyone—and evaluate it. I can look at the FBI’s crime statistics.

I know that “black on black crime,” as it is discussed by racists in this country, is a false flag thrown up to distract from real issues. I know that yes, police brutality is worse than other crime in this country, for one reason: the percentage of perpetrators who our justice system penalizes for their actions.

Intelligence leads to greater kindness in the end. It is not the ability to recite facts. It is the ability to evaluate data.

To someone who can’t do this—to the unintelligent—the world seems a morass of confusion. When you hear someone say “But you can’t even know what’s real these days” because there is always some article or study that says otherwise, know you are dealing with someone of low intelligence.

Incidentally, you are probably dealing with someone who relies on the media to give them the truth, and lacks the capacity to analyze the source data the media is reporting on.

And one inevitable consequence of a lack of intelligence is cruelty.

Right now, millions of Americans are reeling at the results of our presidential election. How could more than sixty million people vote for a man who is so undeniably cruel? Does this mean these voters, many of whom are our friends and family, are categorically cruel as well?

Yes. Because unintelligence will always lead to cruelty in the end.

This is how people who are otherwise kind can be made to do cruel things: a lack of intelligence that allows them to be easily swayed by someone who appeals to their base fears and tribalistic instincts.

It is the same lack of intelligence that makes people fawn and froth and fan themselves over a supposed scandal with little to no merit. I’m talking, of course, about the emails.

How many people screaming about her emails read the ones that are available to us—all of them, not just the ones Wikileaks promoted as part of their clearly biased campaign? How many read the actual law pertaining to her private email server? How many watched her depositions and the facts presented therein?

By and large, most who considered Clinton a criminal never evaluated the source data. They listened instead to a screaming media that confirmed their own implicit biases—the same biases that allowed them to completely ignore the blatant scandals that were right there, in their faces, involving Clinton’s opponent.

They have exhibited nothing more than a blatant and egregious lack of intelligence.

And let’s get one thing clear here: Democrats do not have a monopoly on intelligence, and not every Democrat is intelligent. Many Democrats voted blindly, just as many Republicans voted blindly.

Intelligence is not political. Those who lack it can be persuaded to do good just as easily as evil. It could be said that true self-determinism and a real moral compass is only possible with intelligence.

This is why I care more about my kids being smart than almost anything else.

This is also why I have cut many people out of my life after this election, an action is seen by extreme as some.

But if someone lacks intelligence to the point that their biases will let them support an admitted sexual predator, then that is a person I do not want around my children.

If someone lacks intelligence to the point that they will support a flagrant racist and homophobe, then I do not want to include them in my social circles, which include many who could be hurt by their actions.

If someone lacks intelligence to the point that they will support religious discrimination, they are not someone I want with me on my own spiritual journey.

I was aware of the deep-seated biases of many around me. I only thought they were mostly harmless. This year—not just the election, but the campaign season leading up to it—has made me realize the degree to which such people can be dangerous.

I do not think these people intend to be cruel. But I recognize they are at the whims of instinct and propaganda. Such people are not safe company.

If their stupidity has let them do such grievous harm to so many people in this country, why should I think that stupidity could not one day be turned on me?

I see no value in remaining connected to such people in order to try and change them. Their biases are too deep-seated. There is no potential for debate with them—again, they do not believe that facts can be evaluated, that source data is valuable, or even that truth exists.

I choose instead to work harder and more closely with people of intelligence, to solve problems and move towards better solutions in a way that circumvents the people who blindly follow cruel people into oblivion.

Yes, it is true that intelligence can sometimes paralyze itself. The more we know, the more we know we don’t know.

But it’s time we realize that we do know some things. And as Tuesday has proven, dumb people will continue to work with industry and conviction while we pontificate.

We must work harder and implement our solutions, even though we know them to be imperfect. It is because we know them to be imperfect that we must be relentless in pursuing them.

Because otherwise our country will continue to be dictated by those who are convinced perfection (and God, probably) is on their side.